Monopoly of the Senses
by CrookedSpoon
Summary: One-shot. Shinji wants to help Akira with An-chan, but confuses the other boy more than is healthy.


**Title**: Monopoly of the Senses  
**Characters/Pairings:** One-sided Kamio/An, Shinji  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word Count:** 1,430  
**Warnings**: Language, silliness  
**Disclaimer**: Standard disclaimers apply.  
**Notes**: Written for LJ comm 100prompts (prompt #83 "Monopoly")

* * *

Akira just stared. He wanted to screech and tear his hair out, or kick something or strangle someone - anything to vent his frustration. Life just wasn't fair, the way it played funny tricks on you.

All day - no, all _week_, if not longer - he had been plucking up courage to finally ask An-chan out; all his thoughts revolved around where to go, what to do, even what kind of conversations he could strike while out on a date with her. He had told himself he was cool, he could do that. It should be easy, right? Just ask her and wait for her to say yes. Grasp the initiative with both hands and run forward. He did it during tennis, he was never nervous during a match, so why the hell should it be so hard to _talk_ to a girl?

That's what he's been telling himself, what has been dominating his mind, but when the opportunity finally arose (well, it had done so several times, but Akira always hid from the mental image of Tachibana-san berating him for fooling around with his sister), when they were face-to-face and Akira was _just_ about to sort out the jumble of words threatening to break free from his mouth to ask An-chan out in a coherent manner, she took her leave with a laugh ("_Kippei-nii is going to give me hell if I'm late for dinner._").

Akira was left open-mouthed and gaping and there weren't enough words to describe the roller-coaster of thoughts and emotions that whirled through his head. And Shinji hadn't done anything! He was there, Akira had made sure of that, he knew he would have needed support to go through with his plan, he could have poked him or cleared his throat or anything else that would have helped the sentences forming in Akira's brain find the right track out of his mouth. If anything, having Shinji stare at him silently, staring _through_ him, actually added to the incoherrent mess in his head!

"How about challenging her to a tennis match like that Atobe guy you told me about? If you beat her, she goes out with you. It would be fair." Shinji's monotone slowly, but surely guided him back to the present. But it did nothing to calm him down.

"Are you crazy? I can't do that! I can't challenge her! She's a girl and I can't go all out against her! I mean, I'd win of course, if it wasn't for that, but how the hell can I win against An-chan? That's just... argh!" Words failed him yet again. It was always the same, An-chan simply rendered him speechless. Maybe that's what those old folks meant by "true love doesn't need words" or some such.

But Shinji just wouldn't give up. "Where's the problem? You beat her, she goes out with you. Easy as that."

"You don't understand; it doesn't work that way Shinji!" How was he supposed to explain this to him?

"Why not? Let's try it out. I win, you go on a date with me."

Okay, at that Akira's bulged so much he thought they might pop out of their sockets and bounce against Shinji's forehead. He tried to process that thought. Hard. "Eh... what?" Slow down, that was too much to chew on.

"You heard me. C'mon, let's play." Unpertubed as ever, that Shinji.

"I cannot go on a date with you! What would people--what would _An-chan_ think?!" Just thinking about what they--she might think, made his head spin.

"What do you mean what would they think? They'd see two boys going to the movies. It's obvious, isn't it? We've been to so many places together and you never asked before. I don't get it. Anyway, if you don't want to go, just win."

Needless to say, when they did play, Akira was so flabbergasted that concentrating on his tennis proved a Sisyphean task. Whenever he thought he was in his rhythm again, he was reminded of their conversation and it slipped away from him again, leaving him gaping at Shinji and trying to regain control of his meandering thoughts. Though really, who could stay calm and collected when their best friend practically asked them out for a date. Even thought Akira wouldn't admit it out loud, Shinji was the better player, maybe just by one point, but Shinji certainly thought so as well.

"Is Friday okay with you? When shall I pick you up?" Shinji asked as he wiped away the sweat from his face. He sounded for all the world as if it was an every day occurance to ask your male buddy out on a date!

"B-but why would you do that?" he wheezed, drained of fighting spirit after such a tiring match.

"Do what?"

"Why would you offer to go on a date with me?"

"Let's call it practice."

"Practice?" Akira didn't understand; sometimes it was simply impossible to follow Shinji. His train zigzagged more than a girl's. Even his sisters weren't that bad.

"Yeah. I think it's like tennis." Shinji's hand ran over the grip of his racket. "You have to practice or your performance won't be good." He shot a bland look at Akira.

"Performance...?" Akira managed faintly. Where did Shinji's sudden bursts of pseudo-wisdom come from? Akira felt less and less inclined to go on a date with anyone. But now he was stuck. The only way to handle this was not to think of this as a date at all, otherwise he would expect his skin to melt like chocolate as heated as it was.

* * *

In the end, the movie wasn't so bad and Akira even found some stuff to talk about while they were sitting in one of the fast food restaurant's corners. The special effects had been mind-blowing and Akira waved his straw emphatically over his milkshake and was Shinji actually listening? He was staring at Akira again, worse, he was staring at his _teeth_. Was something stuck between them or was Shinji mentally rambling on about how his teeth weren't all ruler-straight? For fuck's sake, he already was a little self-consious about them on his bad days, but usually managed to just forget about it. Unless someone so pointedly reminded him of their existance.

"Oi, Shinji." He kicked the other boy under the table. "Are you listening?"

"What was that for? Have I done anything to warrant getting kicked? And of course I was listening. You were saying something about the guy who jumped out of the window when the building exploded, which I think is..." Akira didn't even listen. He couldn't even if he wanted to. Throughout that rambling, Shinji did not even once shift his eyes from the spot they were currently so engrossed with.

"Stop staring at my mouth, dammit! I know my teeth aren't the straightest! If you want to see people with straight teeth, go search for geezers with implants." He huffed, not being able to take any more of that blatant staring.

"What is Akira talking about? I was just thinking about how I could help you with what's going on between you and An-chan. Maybe you want to practice kissing An-chan, have you ever thought about that?"

"B-baka! You didn't just offer to practice kissing with me, did you?" This wasn't happening. His hair surely paled in comparison to his face and his head was baking too much to even start wondering about what the hell Shinji was thinking.

"Is it so wrong to offer my help? Just tell me if you're not going to take me up on it, instead of making such a fuss about it."

Suddenly, a thought bloomed in Akira's mind. "Say, doesn't it bother you that I want to go out with An-chan? Wouldn't you like it better to monopolize my feelings?" Monopolize, huh? My, was he feeling wordy today. This never happened with An-chan, sadly.

But Shinji merely looked at him without any distinctive expression. "Hhm? What the hell are you talking about? I don't really get you."

Akira felt his grow hotter, if that was even possible. "Ah.. forget it!" Damn that Shinji. Here Akira thought the blue-haired boy had the hots for him, but he _still_ played Mister Oblivious. It couldn't be. Was he just playing a trick on him? No, we're talking about Shinji. Him deliberately fooling other people would be like a whale in the desert. That meant his best friend really didn't like him _that _way, Akira thought regretfully... Wait, a second. That should be a good thing, shouldn't it?


End file.
